monkey business   2004-06-15

the school i'm teaching at is on the northern fringe of the city and every time i get off the bus i see this forlorn, little brown sign pointing to the green hills in the background. it's kind of sad really ... "ET phone home." it just stands there all day pointing ... in english ... and no one understands or pays any attention to it. so ... as we both had the day off a few days ago we decided to take it up on its offer to take in some greenery "up the trail."


for the most part i would hesitate to call what we experienced a trail. trail naturally implies something ... less steep. less ... aggressively demanding. we arrived in our sandals ready to walk. no problem there. what we hadn't bargained on was taking on the world's longest stairmaster.


after a very pleasant terraced beginning ... three steps shrouded in tropical growth obstructing the view ahead... it got right down to business. stairs hewn out of the rocky hillside climbing straight up. and up. and up. and not just any stairs. but very shallow stairs. maybe four inches high. anyway you measure it they were an awkward depth. you couldn't really take two at a time without straining a little. and in the thick, dead-air tropical canopy shrouding the stairs you keep straining to a minimum. we'd gone about 20 stairs until we were wet. cotton t-shirts painted on the body ... cotton truly is the fabric of death. taking the stairs one step at a time meant slloooowwwwwing down.


it's the kind of stair depth that just screams out "comtemplation." you can't take them quickly or you'll die ... so just sloooowww down and really think about each step you're taking. maybe cross your arms behind your back and bow your head. you can't look up or you'll give up on the spot. i think we've probably all seen old timers on a trail at some point with their arms crossed behind their backs, heads down, just walking. now i know why. each step counts.


so we fell into an easy silence climbing slowly up the kilometers of stairs carved out of the hillside. every once in a while the foliage cleared and turning around we were rewarded with a great view of taipei. which may be an oxymoron. as i suspect is the case with most asian cities it's best savoured up close and personal. toothless old men selling pineapple by the side of the road is how it captures your heart. grand vistas are not it's strong point. nevertheless ... a treat to turn around and give the thighs a break.


the "trail" is actually in a national park and as such features a couple of interesting sign posts. the most memorable being the one advising hikers of the macaque monkeys in the area. it's going to be great once i've made enough $$$ to buy a camera and laptop to send some images home. however ... the following ... lifted directly from the "china post" ... paints a pretty good picture of the monkeys.

The Formosan macaque, a monkey protected under Taiwan law, has become a pest to farmers living near the mountains. The monkeys are protected because they are unique to the island, but their increasing numbers have made them the dominate primate in the mountainous regions. They act in groups, and according to farmers in these areas, have become more and more bold and aggressive.


In Taitung County, located at the eastern end of Taiwan's Central Mountains, an owner of a chicken farm complained that the monkeys often harass his chickens. And he said they aren't doing it for food, but instead are just playing monkey games such as plucking the feathers of roosters and placing hens on branches high up in the trees.


A goat ranch owner in Fuyuan, Taitung County, said that a Formosan macaque arrived at his ranch this year and soon started harassing his goats, even sexually attacking the female ones.


He said he bought six dogs to keep the monkey away from his goats, but the monkey tamed the dogs within ten minutes. At first, the monkey stood out of the reach of the dogs which were kept on leads, and then slapped them in the face when they became tired of barking at him. Frightened by the monkey, the dogs became timid in its presence.


Another farmer who raises boars in Tama, Taitung County, said wild monkeys often tease his boars by riding on their backs like a man on a horse.

so ... i'm sad to say we didn't see any monkeys riding bareback but we did see four or five of the cheeky monkeys. according to the sign if they start raising their eyebrows in a repeatedly suggestive manner it's time to hightail it out of the area. i'm not really sure what that actually means and sadly there was no picture bringing that warning to life.


the first one we saw stopped us in our tracks. it was sitting on a wooden railing just staring at us. an old timer who was ahead of us at one point suddenly popped out of the trees carrying a piece of bamboo perfectly sized for warding off a monkey attack. we figured he knew what he was doing so we tagged along behind him until we were well past the macaque. beady eyes. small hands. not to be trusted.





a macaque family





a baby macaque. pretty creepy.



up next is our adventure at the beach. interesting fact ... for real ... the number 2 cause of death of taiwanese students studying abroad is "drowning." kind of funny. kind of sad.


until then ...

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